Our Daily Bread Archive

Privileged teen still not addicted to crack

Facebook friend always having much better time than you                                                               (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Boy pushed to limit as parent diagnosed with ADHD

Parents conclude that middle child is wholly expendable                                                                  (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Wedding couple prefer expensive gift over your presence                                                                 (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Trump still grappling with new joiner registration in White House

Custodial sentence for man who forgot to set out-of-office reply                                                     (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Cat exhibits 'first signs of fascism'                                                                                                           (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Body of missing Dry January man found in tank of malting barley                                                 (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Facebook addict has stomach pumped due to intoxication of own ego                                           (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Danny Dyer to appear on £20 note                                                                                                         (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Vatican demands all artificial intelligence to be programmed as Catholic                                     (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Narcissist terrorised by vision of life without Facebook                                                                     (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Avoiding small talk leads to early grave, warn experts

Office worker aggressively justifying 'quiet weekend'                                                                         (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

ActionAid announces urgent Christmas appeal to 'sponsor a monarch'

Woman wearing 'Baby on Board' badge also expecting head and neck massage

"Why is it the first time I'm hearing about this?" asks office wanker                                              (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

I'm really easy to live with, says chronically deluded species

God seeing psychotherapist after taking break from humanity

Toddler found 'staring into the void'                                                                                                     (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

UK economy demands 'right to die'                                                                                                       (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Man triumphant after reading whole page of book without checking phone                               (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Turner Prize 2016 to be judged by panel of psychiatric outpatients

Allardyce rejects £400k bung in favour of £1m payoff                                                                     (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Commuter who breaks neck after running for Tube has no regrets                                              (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)                

Apple blames €13bn tax shortfall on iOS 9 bug

I'm not under the thumb, says no-nonsense lad who loved Downton Abbey

Office worker traumatised by interrogation about packed lunch                                                  (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Obama endorses 'sit-down pee' to quell gender identity bathroom crisis

You only get ONE life, warns risk-averse tax accountant                                                               (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Dogs no longer for life, just for Christmas

Marginal fall in top A-Level grades blamed on unphotogenic students

Mankinis 'not impacted' by burkini ban in France                                                                          (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Homeless man regrets dropping wife from profile picture                                                           (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Boko Haram abductees told to get some perspective, as Bieber quits Instagram                    (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Judgement Day format 'similar to job performance appraisal', says God                                 (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

UK baby naming laws 'too liberal', warn Jamie Oliver's children                                               (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Islamic State claims responsiblity for climate change

Tayyip Erdogan beats Kim Jong-Un to win Stalin Factor 2016

UK interest rates forecast to rise before Sun burns out                                                                (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Spate of middle class panic attacks linked to avocado shortfall in larder

Office worker faces agonising choice between 'Regards' and 'Kind Regards' sign-off           (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Gatwick Wetherspoons likely to replace alcohol with cut-price MDMA

Pokémon Go: Brit teens still missing after Pikachu tip-off in Syrian war zone

Entire country believes they are doing a really great job

Cherie Blair berates husband for never saying 'with you, whatever' after intercourse

New regulator to probe excessive parental bragging of children's achievements                   (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Man conquering status anxiety through 5-year hire purchase deal on expensive car

Straight white men feeling sidelined from discrimination

Queen bored shitless and really just wanted a quiet one

Wayne Rooney slams Roy Hodgson over piss-poor French accent

Hillary Clinton already contemplating improper sexual relations in White House

Mike Ashley likely to win Sports Direct Personality of the Year                                                 (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Japanese boy left alone in woods plans similar ordeal at Tokyo Disneyland                          (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

God speaks to couple who want church wedding                                                                          (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

People who love the sound of their own voice to be muzzled

Airport security staff to stop taking work so seriously                                                                 (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Unworthy kid at back of bus not even wearing hoodie                                                                (Published at Newsbiscuit.com

No-frills assisted suicide provider EasySnuff to shake up death industry

Child demands OFSTED visit as bedtime reading consistently fails to meet targets            (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Completion of big to-do lists not making anybody happy

Air travel statistically safer than giving loaded gun to 3 year-old

Primary school pupils form human chain in protest against term-time holidays

Posh voices to be regulated in public

Customers waiting nearly 72 hours for happy hour cocktails

Single man convincing himself that he's not doing yoga to get laid                                         (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Man confronting existential despair with focus on sculpting biceps

Alcohol still more rewarding than kids, says disillusioned parent 

Lads' nights out becoming far too risk-averse, says former lad

I just don't take life too seriously, writes female psychopath on dating profile                    (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Office worker builds impenetrable defence against his own insignificance                          (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Government proposes Facebook news feeds to replace BBC by 2018

New sedentary lifestyle app tells friends when you're being a fat lazy shit

Couple deriving immense satisfaction from owning bigger house than friends                  (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Senior citizens today don't know they're born, complains pregnant teen

Young parents establish paramilitary force to defend school catchment area

Diehard accountants using anabolic steroids to enhance job performance

Men criticised for utterly inadequate telepathy skills

Junior doctors table last-ditch proposal: Jeremy Hunt to be euthanised

North Korea rejects Photobomb Non-Proliferation Treaty                                                     (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

British parents begin offshoring children to India                                                                    (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Failing student sues parents over 'unacceptable DNA'                                                             (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

90% of Buddhist monks diagnosed with clinical depression                                                  (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Maria Sharapova confesses to running Mexican drug cartel                                                  (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Facebook friend count to replace UCAS points                                                                         (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Gay Catholics to remain in cages until Pope clarifies position                                               (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Research team permitted to edit DNA of young offenders                                                     (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

"Why must I do everything?" cries husband during childbirth                                             (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

London commuter confesses "I don't know why I'm rushing"                                              (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Error-strewn tea round declared "completely indefensible"                                                 (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Pope agrees to cover God's first holiday in 2000 years                                                           (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

Lotttery winner still not depressed 8 weeks after announcement                                        (Published at Newsbiscuit.com)

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