God speaks to couple who want church wedding

God has apparently been communicating with a non-religious couple who would like to get married in a church. According to fiancé Gary Parker, this has been an incredibly unlikely coincidence, and the Lord's timing has had nothing to do with facilitating arrangements for their big day. His future wife, Sarah Wentworth, recently told her local vicar that she felt ‘saved’, prior to confirming the optimal position for the wedding photographer during the ceremony. Despite disingenuous gossip from a cynical society that it’s a smokescreen ‘for nice photos’, the duo anticipate but cannot guarantee that they will regularly attend church after becoming husband and wife.

Prior to their conversion, Gary and Sarah were part of a growing number of people who gushingly self-identified with a ‘spiritual but not religious’ mindset. This basically meant that Sarah preferred yoga to the Bible, and that Gary had considered Tai Chi.

“In terms of wedding planning, finding God has been perfectly synchronised with our schedule,” remarked Sarah, after voicing her unease that the church floral arrangements might not complement her bridal gown. “I feel like He is answering many of my prayers, such as the decision to not invite my alcoholic Uncle Tim. I also sense a divine spirit guiding me to order a 4-tier wedding cake rather than the traditional 3.”

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