New bride threatens daily wedding photo updates until she is pregnant

Recently-married Kate Hughes has pledged to modify her profile picture on a daily basis until she is 12 weeks pregnant. Initially angered that new husband, Sean Hughes, had not even updated his Facebook status to 'In a Relationship', she vowed a new wedding photo, 7 days a week, to remind everyone what a lucky bastard he was. Each status update would be tagged 'with Sean Hughes' to demonstrate online togetherness, but to also forebode a ticking biological timebomb. From a portfolio of 1,000 photos, Fiona calculated that they needed to conceive in less than 3 years to ensure a seamless transition on social media.

She commented, "I get a little irked sometimes…it’s always my responsibility to show the world how beautiful I am and how happy we are. If it was left to him, nobody would ever see the photos of my bridesmaids' envious glances, or the pictures of my wedding dress at every conceivable angle. And who doesn’t want to see a group shot of the whole wedding party from an outrageously high location? His profile picture is still a photo of him and his mates outside a bar in Hull with traffic cones on their heads. I get upset because he never refers to me or tags me in his posts, which are usually shared 'LAD Bible' videos or detailed breakdowns of his latest gym routine."

Sean responded, "I leave all that nonsense to her. Enjoyed the day though…some of the lads got really smashed and the bridesmaids didn’t disappoint."

Kate is currently planning how to announce her future pregnancy in a stylish and novel way. "The 3 month scan photo has become a bit dated", she told us. "So I've asked Damien Hirst to sculpt a synthetic 12-week foetus immersed in formaldehyde."

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