Further to distressing reports that poverty-stricken Queen Elizabeth requires £370 million for home improvements, an international charity has launched an urgent global appeal. The ‘sponsor a monarch’ campaign enables volunteers to donate money regularly to an ‘asset-rich but cash-poor’ king, queen or emperor. Closely resembling the charity’s previous Christmas appeals to ‘sponsor a child’, participants of the new scheme can build a relationship with a sovereign head of state, by exchanging cards, letters and photos. Sponsors will also be encouraged to send luxury festive hampers at Christmas.

“Sponsor a monarch with ActionAid and you’ll begin a lasting friendship, sharing your love and encouragement as you watch them reign” said a spokesperson for the charity. “Your support will provide training and tools to help monarchs undertake DIY work, and learn how to use a cash machine. Whenever you write to a sovereign ruler, we’ll hand deliver your letter, and you can expect a nondescript automated email in return.”

King Mswati III of Swaziland has praised the campaign, and said that he will use the funds to build a new palace for his 16th wife.