"Senior citizens today don't know they're born", complains pregnant teen

An exhausted and irritable pregnant teenager has bemoaned the ‘old age entitlement epidemic’ sweeping across the UK. 16 year-old Danielle Shaw, whose baby is due in 6 weeks, condemned the widespread belief that senior citizens are ‘somehow inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.’ She attacked the senior railcard as ‘systematically ageist’ and winter fuel payments as ‘deplorably misconceived’.

“Free NHS prescriptions for not lifting a finger?”, the expectant teen ranted, after snapping at her boyfriend for spending their last £15 at Laser Quest. “Why are we giving away TV licenses to the over 75s? Why am I not entitled to the free Diamond club card allowing me discounts on food at over 100 pubs and carveries? Remember I’m eating for 2 now. And what about getting 25% off at Specsavers? The discrimination just never ends.”

Many teenagers agree with Danielle, and feel that the surge in number of Bingo halls is a worrying development.  They also lament the fact that card games such as bridge and cribbage are woefully under-represented at sixth-form colleges throughout Britain.

“Do you think I can get cut-price membership with the National Trust?”, Danielle asked cynically, after telling everyone on Facebook that her boyfriend was a twat. “Am I offered a cup of hot tea and a biscuit when I go to a discounted screening at Vue cinema? You must be joking – I’m lucky to get a seat on the friggin bus these days. Last week, I asked a blind old man with a walking stick if he wouldn’t mind giving up his seat. I’m pregnant for f@ck sake. His guide dog didn’t even acknowledge me.”

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