Trump still grappling with new joiner registration in White House

Following his terrifying inauguration address, President Donald Trump has continued to struggle with the White House onboarding process, which has entered a tense and difficult second day. The new joiner registration form, which requires disclosing simple personal information such as your name and height, has posed significant challenges during his first 48 hours in office. After protracted deliberations with Defence Secretary James ‘Mad Dog’ Mattis, Trump has chosen Vladimir Putin over Benjamin Netanyahu as his primary emergency contact.

“Once I find my social security number, we’re going to make America great again,” he muttered to himself frustratedly. 

After being shown the nearest photocopier to his Oval Office desk, Trump insisted on taking a long nap because he was tired. He confessed he was also anxious about remembering everyone's name.

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