Office worker automates hostile email response to all fundraising requests
27 year old IT analyst Peter Lomas has configured Microsoft Outlook to generate dismissive replies when dealing with all future sponsorship pleas. The Auto Reply function scans the email subject and body for words such as "JustGiving" and "VirginMoney" and immediately triggers a negative response. He reached this landmark decision after concluding that he disliked most of his work colleagues and the very essence of charity.
The email response is unapologetically belligerent in tone, but does contain some sarcastic elements. It begins with the pointed rhetorical question, "So you think you're saving the fucking world do you?". It then proceeds to give a bullet-pointed list of reasons why Peter has refused to donate. These include 'no salary increase in 4 years from the robbing bastards', 'paying ALL the rent since bitch ex-girlfriend moved out', and 'not owning a dog which shits out money'.