UK economy demands 'right to die'

It has emerged that the UK economy may voluntarily choose to die with dignity. Although assisted economic suicide is currently illegal, a provocative campaign hopes to enshrine ‘the right to fiscal annihilation’ in UK law, just after Article 50 is triggered. Even if MPs decide to reject the new bill in the Commons, it is hoped that a Swiss clinic will be given passporting rights to supply the lethal overdose. According to Tory backbenchers, Theresa May is very supportive of the proposals.

“We believe that everyone has the right to a good death, including the wealth and resources of a developed nation,” said Louise Watts, a spokesperson for Dignity and Choice in Dying. “Moribund economies deserve better and should not have to suffer against their wishes. As a recognised leader in the provision of high-quality end-of-economy care, we can accelerate the UK’s demise and take back control.”

According to Boris Johnson, any remaining funds from the UK's estate will be delivered by unicorns to all NHS hospitals outside of Scotland.

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