God joins Fathers4Justice after unsolved family homicide
After a 2000 year legal battle regarding the barbaric murder of his beloved Son, God has finally paid the £30 annual fee to join Fathers4Justice. Centuries of appeals in the Heavenly Supreme Court had been unsuccessful owing to eyewitness testimony of 'bodily resurrection'. This left Him with no plausible alternative but to seek redress through an Earth-based fathers rights group.  He gleefully selected the premium membership service to enable fast-track delivery of fancy dress merchandise.

A Fathers4Justice spokesman commented, "It's great to have God on board considering what He's been through. Not every Father learns that their Son has been subjected to a human sacrifice in front of a baying crowd. Judicial proceedings were flawed from the outset when Judas was summoned from Hell as a defence witness. We've reviewed the divine court's legal documentation, and we strongly refute the main defence of 'a death foretold to redeem all human sins'. I mean Jesus Christ!"

This is the first time in human history that a supernatural deity has subscribed to a terrestrial campaign organisation. Rumours that He joined a conservative Anglican charity named "Pray the Gay Away" in 2009 were flatly rejected by the archangel Gabriel. Allegations that He recently sponsored the Catholic-run think tank "Hide the Paedophile Priest" were also vehemently denied. 

God agreed to speak to 'Our Daily Bread' on Skype, "We've decided to protest on Easter Sunday by hurling flour bombs at Justin Welby from the top of Westminster Abbey...dressed as Ninja Turtles. I just hope my Leonardo outfit arrives in time."

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