A 36 year-old man is using his Facebook news feed to measure how his heart reacts to stress in an uncontrolled online environment. His blood pressure response will be examined as he grows infuriated by inane posts on social media. Rather than walking on a treadmill, patient Rob Smith will simply review friends' status updates so that doctors can diagnose any heart irregularities or abnormal blood flow.
"The level of stress on Rob's heart can be progressively adjusted by forcing him to read all of the Facebook comments," said cardiologist Greg Simpson.
The clinical trial was abandoned after Rob began to suffer from severe palpitations, chest pain, shortness of breath, headache, nausea and fatigue. Prior to cardiac arrest, medical records disclosed no evidence of his alleged transition to Instagram.